Take a moment to imagine that you just meet someone for the first time. Would you ask a girl (or a guy) to marry you right away? Without so much as a conversation? Or getting to know one another? That sounds a bit silly, doesn’t it?
Of course, it does!
First Meeting
When you first meet with the intent of seeking a relationship, you are focused on listening to have enough information to ask him or her to join you for coffee or drinks. At drinks, you get to know him or her better by listening to what he or she is comfortable sharing and learning about her. That date gives you an idea of whether or not you will move on to dinner, a concert, or a hike for a second date. The whole point of the first date is to figure out if there will be a second. You spend your time together on that second date learning and thinking about how compatible you might be.
Are you compatible? That second date might lead to a third and so on.
When you post content online that goes straight for a sale, without an introduction, getting to know your community, or building a relationship, you are basically doing the same thing as proposing at your first meeting. While the internet is an amazing thing, it can’t build trust or help solve the problems of your customers without creating a relationship. Without context or having done anything to foster a relationship, how can you be ready to ask already?
So much content online cuts out listening, learning, and context, zooming past a first conversation, let alone a first date, straight to marriage. If you attended a party where someone stood alone at a party, shouting, “Come buy a refrigerator from me!” over and over at the partygoers socializing and interacting like normal people, would you think about buying a fridge from him or her?
Here’s how to avoid being “that guy” at the party that is the internet:
Dating
First, you listen. You listen to the customers you want to “date.” They will tell you what they need and the problems they struggle with, giving you a glimpse at how you can guide them to the solution, even if it isn’t a solution you primarily offer.
They will also let you know if and how you can even help. If you can offer something in response that’s valuable due to your expertise, even if their needs and the problems they face aren’t primarily the ones you help solve, you can show your eagerness to help. If the problems they face or their needs they have don’t line up with your expertise yet, you know to wait for a better time, because they just aren’t ready for “the relationship” with you.
Listening is imperative early on, and you can’t do it if you’re too busy talking.
Next, when you can offer something of value, you need to respond in context to what they’ve told you they need. It does neither of you any good to respond to what they’ve said with something that doesn’t address their needs or the problems they face.
Responding to someone who needs something other than what you offer with repeated broadcasts of your generic message to buy from you does neither of you any good. They will simply walk away, and you’ve lost their attention because talking to you is like talking to a recording of what you want from them.
Finally, your conversation is about adding value to their lives. When you add value, you have their attention. You’re building your brand, and you need them committed for the long-term, not just some short-term sales goal. When you build for brand, you will be the culmination of the value you’ve added to their lives. When you chase the short-term, you’re only as good as the last time you hit your sales goal.
Marriage, Not a Hook-Up
By looking beyond the short-term at a single sale (that you weren’t likely to get anyway) and building a reputation of adding value to those you interact with, you’ll build a long-lasting relationship. That relationship will be centered on your reputation as someone helpful, and who adds value.
Doesn’t that sound like someone you’d like to buy from?
