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Tag: conversation

Are You Too Focused on “Positive” Feedback Online?

All for the ‘Gram!

(The video below is NSFW/K due to language)

If you watched the video above or listened to Arizona Zervas’ “Roxanne,” you heard at the very beginning that he does things only for Instagram, because of who loves “the ‘Gram.” 

Arizona is not alone. There are countless social media users who post strictly for the positive affirmation they receive in response to the things they post. There are some fitness gurus that post selfies to show off their best physical assets, knowing that the “after” means more likes on an image than the process that led there. Others will post cute photos of their children and pets to receive the good feelings that come with the likes.

When they post other types of content on their accounts, the internet “love” just doesn’t arrive in the same way. Their followers take notice of the less popular posts and don’t interact, yet jump on the bandwagon when a post appears to be doing well. 

“Likes” Are Seductive

As a content creator, the pull of positive “feedback” is strong. It FEELS good to have your community giving you a like. Here’s why you don’t want the like for the rush it gives you:

  • The real feelings of your audience lie in what they have to say in the comments. It’s easy to tap, while it takes more effort to form a real thought and share it with you. 
  • Social media is about being social, and a like isn’t as social as the conversation your post should generate. You should want to start those conversations about you and your brand, as you’ll truly engage the raving fans in your community. 
  • You are more likely to fall into the trap of posting for the “likes,” rather than sharing your real, authentic self and brand. You become a slave to those likes, posting puppies or showing skin, rather than sharing what you actually want to say. 

This is an opportunity for you to stand out from what everyone else does. It’s your chance to zig when they zag. You can use that differing approach to find your tribe, aka the people who really understand and relate to you. 

Find Your Tribe & Engage

When you find and engage your tribe, your raving fans, or whatever you want to call the community who actually supports you, their attention is more valuable than those outside it. We seek that attention, remember?

The community you build is filled with the people who support you. Their love for what you do and the value you add to their lives will attract more people like them to you. Seth Godin calls this the smallest viable audience, and they will be an extension of you… An evangelist of your brand. Doesn’t that sound more valuable than a bunch of likes on a post?

Straight to Marriage?

Take a moment to imagine that you just meet someone for the first time. Would you ask a girl (or a guy) to marry you right away? Without so much as a conversation? Or getting to know one another? That sounds a bit silly, doesn’t it?

Of course, it does! 

First Meeting

When you first meet with the intent of seeking a relationship, you are focused on listening to have enough information to ask him or her to join you for coffee or drinks. At drinks, you get to know him or her better by listening to what he or she is comfortable sharing and learning about her. That date gives you an idea of whether or not you will move on to dinner, a concert, or a hike for a second date. The whole point of the first date is to figure out if there will be a second. You spend your time together on that second date learning and thinking about how compatible you might be. 

Are you compatible? That second date might lead to a third and so on.

When you post content online that goes straight for a sale, without an introduction, getting to know your community, or building a relationship, you are basically doing the same thing as proposing at your first meeting. While the internet is an amazing thing, it can’t build trust or help solve the problems of your customers without creating a relationship. Without context or having done anything to foster a relationship, how can you be ready to ask already?

So much content online cuts out listening, learning, and context, zooming past a first conversation, let alone a first date, straight to marriage. If you attended a party where someone stood alone at a party, shouting, “Come buy a refrigerator from me!” over and over at the partygoers socializing and interacting like normal people, would you think about buying a fridge from him or her?

Here’s how to avoid being “that guy” at the party that is the internet:

Dating

First, you listen. You listen to the customers you want to “date.” They will tell you what they need and the problems they struggle with, giving you a glimpse at how you can guide them to the solution, even if it isn’t a solution you primarily offer. 

They will also let you know if and how you can even help. If you can offer something in response that’s valuable due to your expertise, even if their needs and the problems they face aren’t primarily the ones you help solve, you can show your eagerness to help. If the problems they face or their needs they have don’t line up with your expertise yet, you know to wait for a better time, because they just aren’t ready for “the relationship” with you. 

Listening is imperative early on, and you can’t do it if you’re too busy talking.

Next, when you can offer something of value, you need to respond in context to what they’ve told you they need. It does neither of you any good to respond to what they’ve said with something that doesn’t address their needs or the problems they face. 

Responding to someone who needs something other than what you offer with repeated broadcasts of your generic message to buy from you does neither of you any good. They will simply walk away, and you’ve lost their attention because talking to you is like talking to a recording of what you want from them. 

Finally, your conversation is about adding value to their lives. When you add value, you have their attention. You’re building your brand, and you need them committed for the long-term, not just some short-term sales goal. When you build for brand, you will be the culmination of the value you’ve added to their lives. When you chase the short-term, you’re only as good as the last time you hit your sales goal.

Marriage, Not a Hook-Up

By looking beyond the short-term at a single sale (that you weren’t likely to get anyway) and building a reputation of adding value to those you interact with, you’ll build a long-lasting relationship. That relationship will be centered on your reputation as someone helpful, and who adds value. 

Doesn’t that sound like someone you’d like to buy from?